Motivation

Why am I here?


I have asked that question a lot, and not just in regards to school. For the majority of my life I have been in a Mastery Avoidance State. I have done well in school and other pursuits but there was always the constant fear of failure. The stress this caused is unbelievable. The chapters on motivation have given me a terminology to use when trying to describe why high school was so hard for me. I have gained a clearer understanding about what was really motivating me before now.

What motivates me?

I say “before now” because coming back to school to become certified as a teacher is something I am doing for me, my family and community. Looking back on my school years, and this includes the years I was in college getting my bachelors degree, I feel regret for wasted time and opportunity. There was so much more that I could have learned if I had known then what I know now. That’s the way it was though, what I can change is the way it will be. It’s still difficult, sometimes old habits and attitudes creep up on me, but I am progressing and I will take my experiences to my classroom and hopefully be there to intervene for others. I am excited to help students develop a lifetime love of learning.

Why do I succeed and why do I fail?

I have always had an internal locus. However, that inner voice usually told me that I could have done better if I would have tried harder. This is peculiar because I got good grades. Doing a task better to me meant that I could have done it with less anxiety and stress if I only would have started earlier, seen it for the mole hill that it was, or not expected myself to be perfect. Those are the reasons I fail. I succeed when I focus on developing an incremental view of my abilities and allow myself to grow and through my failures become better.

Course Contract Goals:

My goals are mastery goals. This says a lot about how far I have come and my hope for the future.

The Mindset of a great teacher:

I believe that I am currently on the first rung of the ladder leading to being a great teacher. I need to continue to monitor myself and work on my shortcomings as well as my strengths with a clear expectation of what I want to bring to my future students.